"Piece of advice #1: 'Enjoy the god damned moment.'"

Last April I happened upon this podcast called Creative Mornings. The first one I tuned into, the one I'm about to share with you, was a breath of fresh air and a kick in the pants all in one. I've watched it over and over, every time I feel like I need a little realistic inspiration, or to attempt to take life less seriously and enjoy "the god damned moment." 

Aaron Draplin is hilarious, inspiring, and utterly creative. Even just having this on in the background while you work today is well advised. Enjoy :)

(Sorry for the language, mom. It was him not me, I swear.)

....no pun.

Today's five favorite links

• Kembrel is a private shopping site just for students. 

• The 10 funniest commercials of all time.

• The politics of beer pong. This is TOTALLY how we should decide the President of the United States.

• DIY summer hosting tips

• Cannot WAIT to read the Grace Coddington memoir (the creative director at Vogue for almost 25 years now!)

Your Teenage Self vs Your 20-Something Self

Cuz' Thought Catalog never gets old. 

"Money

Teenage self: I’m rich! My parents just gave me twenty bucks to go out with my friends. That means I can afford a movie, a soft drink, and some candy! Must spend immediately. Burning a hole in my pocket. I love money!

20-something self: I hate money. Why does it cost so much money to simply exist? Why I can’t afford an iced mocha and some Sour Patch Kids? I really don’t ask for much. No one told me life was going to be this expensive. No one told me that if I get sick, I must pay insurance companies thousands of dollars. What’s more expensive? Cancer or a Birkin? WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Self-esteem

Teenage self: I love to hate myself. I wish I was born with a better body. If I had a better clavicle bone, maybe the opposite sex would notice me!

20-something self: I’m a pretty dope person. Why doesn’t anyone realize that?

Drinking

Teenage self: I get crazy wasted. Can I have another wine cooler?

20-something self: I pretend to get hungover after drinking one beer. I’m just so…old.

Love

Teenage self: I’ve been in love once. I don’t think they knew I existed though.

20-something self: Love’s a necessary bitch.

Parents

Teenage self: Hate.

20-something self: Love.

College

Teenage self: Can’t wait to go. It’ll change my life!

20-something self: So. Much. Money.

Excuse to stay in

Teenage self: I have to finish my reading journal for King Lear.

20-something self: I’d rather wash my hair and watch Top Chef.

Style manta

Teenage self: This bracelet would look good with this necklace. And this necklace would look good with this headband. And this headband would look good with some wacky earrings!

20-something self: Messy meets sophistication meets go fuck yourself. Looking 12 and 80 years old all at the same time.

Fights with friends

Teenage self: I hate you today because I’m bored!

20-something self: I’m beginning to realize that I don’t like who you are as a person."

 

Mapping Stereotypes

From Alpha Designer's "Mapping Stereotypes Project". Hilarious. 

Europe according to Americans:

Europe according to gay men: 

The world according to America: 

Europe according to Greeks:

5 Things I Found Today (The November 18th Edition)

• 30 days of twist and pin hairstyles. 

• A 21 year-old's journey from zero to $50,000 in sales. 

• Phrases in five common languages to know when traveling in Europe. 

• Swag or no Swag?

• Private shopping site just for students. 

5 Things I Found Today (The September 14th Edition)

• Well because it is the second week of school and I'm already victim to this horrible condition called Senioritis, I was quite pleased to come across Cramster. Cramster lets your download study guides for almost any college course, take practice tests, and also has a "Homework Help" section. Holla. 

• I love projects like this. The "Before I Die" art project has everyone sharing their hopes, dreams, and aspirations on a public chalkboard wall. Check it out. 

• The most organized and extensive "Drink Specials in Your City" website I've ever seen. This kind of inspires me to turn into an alcoholic. We all have to have dreams people.

• This girl might just be the next Christina Perri. GET A CD OUT ALREADY. 

• Swag or no swag? You decide. 

Three Minute Philosophies

I love when cartoons make me smart. 

I also feel with the beginning of school here, ew, I need to start the process of flipping my brain switch back on.

Now I secretly hope I'm at some event where someone brings up Kant's Catagorical Imperative and I can chime in, "OHHHHH yesss consequentialism, blah blah blabbity blahhhhh, [smart things] blahhh." 

....I think I said that with a British accent in my head. 

5 Things I Found Today

New movie with Seth Rogen and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Huuuuge crush on JGL. 

My new favorite print from fifiduvie's etsy shop. 

Five traits low-stress, happy work cultures have in common. 

15 toughest interview questions (and answers!)

The Brocial Network. Callin all the bros out on all things...bro.

Dear Blank Please Blank

These letterpress cards from Jared Wunsch and Sappling Press happen to have made my day. 

How To Be Drunk

The most popular posts on my blog seem to be the ones from Thought Catalog and "How To Be Drunk" is sure to be no different. Head over to Thought Catalog for more laughs. 

P.S.-- For future employers: this isn't me advertising a penchant for booze, it's just damn funny. 

How To Be Drunk

Have a good day or a very bad day. Maybe even just a boring day. Drink two glasses of wine at 9 p.m.

Feel a little buzzed, a little warm, and realize the night could go either way. You could have your buzz fade and be sober and normal again. You’d go to bed at a reasonable hour and wake up feeling rested thinking to yourself, “I’m glad I didn’t decide to get drunk last night. I would feel like shit right now.” Or you could continue drinking, go to some bar and spend the next day hungover in bed ordering Pad Thai and watching movies on Netflix Watch Instantly. You choose the latter. Obviously.

Get pumped. Put on a playlist that’s titled, “dance y’know like whatever” and change into a stylish outfit. A temporary wave of excitement comes over you when a Salt N’ Pepa song comes on and you become fully committed to the idea of raging.

Invite your friend over—the one who’s a borderline alcoholic and makes you look better by comparison—to pre-game at your apartment. After splitting a bottle of wine, think about where you want to go and then remember that an acquaintance of yours is having a birthday party at some dive bar. You already said “Maybe attending” on the Facebook invite, which usually means “I’d rather eat glass!”, but decide to make a cameo anyway. “Tonight is going to be a shitshow!”, your friend tells you between gulps from a mysterious new glass of wine. Ask them where they got more alcohol and they’ll respond, “Oh, I brought my own bottle. I mean, have you met me?!” At this moment, flashback to a night when this friend got so drunk, they told you their dark childhood secrets in front of a taco truck at four in the morning. Begin to question your decision to party with them.

Leave your apartment inebriated and feeling good. Everything always seems so promising during the walk from your apartment to the first bar, doesn’t it? No one has gotten too drunk yet, avoided your texts or started a fight. For a moment, the night feels full of possibilities and that’s what keeps you drinking and moving. The possibility that you could meet someone great, attend an amazing gathering or even just get laid is more powerful than any mistake you could potentially make or any hangover you could endure. It’s what compels you to poison your body with foul tasting-liquid, act like a slightly retarded person for a few hours and maybe ingest 1,000 calories before bed. Possibility. Ding ding ding! Now that we’ve identified the reason why everyone gets wasted, can we get possibility arrested?

Go to the dive bar and embrace your drunk birthday friend. They’re already slumped over the bar and have an expression on their face that seems to convey both sadness and elation. They’ll slur their words, grab your arm and say, ” I just want to you know how happy I am that you’re here. I know we’re not really close, but I fucking love you. You know?” You kind of know because you’re drunk too, but you’re not on your friend’s level yet so you don’t really know. Imagine this friend three hours from now when they’ll be puking all over their nice birthday outfit. They won’t even have had their cake yet and all of their friends will be FREAKING. OUT. Someone who’s only medium-drunk will have to take them home and leave them on their bed half-naked with Doritos in their hair. The next morning, they’ll wake up and as soon as the light hits their eyes, they’ll know what happened. Birthday bust.

Get the image out of your head and order a vodka soda at the bar. When it comes, drink it very fast and order another one. Feel your body start to get heavy and begin to move without an ounce of grace. Experience the following emotions: Happy. Annoyed. Happy. Drunk. Hungry. Horny. Happy.

Spot a girl you sort of know and head towards her. Become hyper-aware of your intoxication and feel self-conscious. Don’t act drunk! Drink a lot. Want another drink? Get it! But don’t ever appear to be drunk! That would be unseemly and gross.

Go over to this girl and talk about the things that connect you both. Speak slowly, but casually and use the occasional big word. Become engrossed in the conversation. If you’re a straight male/lesbian, this is the part of the how-to where you attempt to get laid. So go ahead! Do it!

{five minutes pass}

Are you done? OK. Moving on. The booze has tricked you into having a bond with this girl. You’re writing down numbers, promising to hang out. By the time you leave the bar, try to believe you have a new best friend (or conquest). Walk home alone completely blotto. Realize you forgot to tell your borderline alcoholic friend you were leaving, but be too drunk to care. Your body is swaying back and forth now. Drunk dial a friend you grew up with and tell them about your night. They’ll laugh and say, “You’re so drunk right now, aren’t you?!” Get defensive and say “No!”, but then sheepishly admit it. Spot a 24-hour deli and and hang up the phone. Stumble in and order baked ziti. Yes. Baked ziti. That’s a great idea! Take it home with you. Slam your door closed. Undress quickly as if you’re suddenly allergic to your clothes. Wolf down your food while checking Facebook. Write on people’s walls. Make a weird status update that just says “drunk ziti.” Drink some water in a futile attempt to curb the hangover that awaits you in the morning. Have head hit pillow like a brick. Forget to turn off the light. You’re done. 

5 Things You'll Love Today:

• Adele covering The Strokes:

• College girls like to add to their closets more than anyone else I know, yet we are AB.SO.LUT.ELY. BROKE. Here are 10 tips from a personal shopper on how to wrangle your shopping budget. 

• 30 Amusing and Strange Celebrity Tweets (@willferrell: sitting in green room with justin bieber...must resist urge to roundhouse kick him in his midget face.)

• This is for all mothers and other anal neat-freaks. Martha Stewarts ultimate cleaning checklist. 

• Okay hands down, I haven't laughed this hard at something in a long time. I know it's long but you HAVE to read the whole thing, you won't regret it. I give to you, "Missy".

5 Things You'll Love Today:

• If this doesn't make you smile, you have no soul. 

• This is honestly one of the most inspiring websites I've been to in a long time. There's always that looming nightmare that you'll graduate from college into a mundane and soul-sucking job you absolutely hate. Shatterbox highlights the stories of young college graduates who love what they do. In the words of site founder Amanda Holt: "Your job shouldn't just feed your wallet, it should feed your heart and your brain too." A-men. Check out this video, and then be sure to visit the website. 

• Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis. I don't think I need say more. 

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Will Ferrell from Will Ferrell

• IT'S FINALLY HERE, and it's just as badass as I hoped it would be. This movie (and book!) trilogy was a box-office hit in Sweden, and now it's America's turn. The trailer for The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo:

• I have hit the recipe jackpot. You may now make your own Girlscout cookies, including Semoas, Tagalongs and Trefoils. 

5 Things I Love Today

• Letting my eyes indulge in Abercrombie's latest sexy advertising sensation. One million shirtless attractive men? You love me, I know.   

• Aww, so so cute. 

• Can't make it to the Met to see the Alexander McQueen exhibit? Me neither. Luckily, The Cut gives us a full-disclosure video tour. Hauntingly beautiful, per usual with this designer. 

• Gwyneth Paltrow is sky-rocketing to the top of my "coolest celebrities EVER" list. Reason number 8,193 why I love her? The girl RAPS. Listen to her spit out "Straight outta Compton"

• Interesting read: 15 Things I've Learned as a Post-Grad

G O A N D T E L L T H A T

Possibly the wittiest stationery I have ever come by. You know your life was lacking some Antoine Dodson. Buy 'em here!

{image via The Love List}

5 T H I N G S I L O V E T O D A Y

• You know those sick futuristic movies where computers and screens are made entirely of glass?? Umm, that's almost a reality. 

• New movie starring Jason Bateman and Ryan Renolds. Awwww yeeeeuuuh.

• The world needs more "I don't give a shit what anyone thinks of me" kids like this dude. If this video doesn't make you smile there's something wrong with you. 

• A new song from Matt Nathanson

• Top 5 Productivity Apps for College Students. Awesomeness. Glad I find out about this stuff when I have one year left. 

4 T H I N G S I L O V E T O D A Y

• Why yes, funny you should ask, you CAN buy Will Ferrell sunscreen.

• Inspiring Ted Talk. "What's the worst that could happen?" is all you  need to learn anything. Put it on in the background while you do homework. "Smash fear, learn anything".  

• A romantic comedy. Set in Paris. Directed by Woody Allen. J'adore. 

• Please allow me to introduce you to iConcertCal. This free iTunes tool monitors your music library & generates a personalized concert and album release calendar based on the artists you have in your library. How did you live without this before? I have no idea.