Thursday, January 6, 2011

People's Choice Awards: 5 Gorgeous Outfits, 1 ... "Good Try!" Ensemble

Awards Season is among us. Praise the Lawd. So here's what's goin on. For each award show, I'll do five "well played" outfits, and one "what the H were you thinking?" look.

Let's have a peek, shallllll we?

Kristen Stewart, you looked ah-ma-zing. Every woman in the world would kill for your legs. But gosh dangit, you've won eleventy billion of these awards and you still don't know how to give just a HALF awkward speech, you always have to go the full mile and make it cringe-worthy to the max. Where are your PR people?!? Fire them. Get new ones. Preferably ones that can at least train you to not BITE YOUR FRICKING NAILS while you give an acceptance speech. Okay, I'm good. I'm done. I feel better. 

Selena Gomez. This wasn't even my favorite dress but she is just so goll-darn adorable I had to include her and her little confectionary number. She's the one Disney star I have faith in to not evolve into a hot mess or be caught tripping off god knows what illegal-but-we're-going-to-say-it-was-a-legal-drug-to-save-my-ass substance. Please Selena, I'm begging you. Avoid the Disney train wreck plague. 

Bowm-chikka-wah-waoooo. Kimmy, lookin good sister. Metallic print mini dress, subtle but glamour statement necklace, nude heels; always a no-fail combo. Probs my favorite look of the evening. Dig her hair as well. Well played.

K, Minka Kelly. I really have no idea who you are (I know she's in some Friday Night Lights show, but does anyone really watch that anymore?) but you're lookin GOOD, girlfriend. Again, nude heels, works with anything, her makeup is flawless, and that d├ęcolletage (uh, otherwise known as her boob area) is perfectly shimmery and glowy. Jealous.

I'm not gonna lie, I don't think there's ever been a dress that Taylor Swift has worn on the red carpet that I haven't liked. We have similar frock tastes. I like this nude Grecian number and I commend her for attempting to be a little scandalous with the left side boob-cover-thingy. I do not mind Taylor Swift. I said it. She is not the greatest singer in the world and I get HELLA annoyed when she has that "who, MEEEE?!?!?!" look on her face every time she wins another Album of the Year award, but I think people try too hard to have a problem with her. She's just a girl tryin' to make bank, ya'll. Plus, she's pickin up Taylor Lautner & Jake Gyllenhaal while doing so. Not bad. 

Raven Symone. I almost didn't pick her as my "What the H?" outfit because I'm thinking maybe she was confused that she was invited to this event since she hasn't even done anything in 10-ish years. She even kind of has that look on her face. The "What bitches? Yeah I mowed over 8 security guards to get into this shindig" look. Or maybe someone accidentally printed off like, 5,000 extra award invitations and the producers were all, "What the crap are we going to with 5,000 extra invitations???? We can't just waste these!!! Welp, I guess we'll have to invite everyone that hasn't been on TV in a decade." Anyway, stepping away from my confusion of her presence at this show and onto her .... outfit? Yes, this is the People's Choice Awards, where the dress code is notoriously more casual than the Oscars or Emmys, but Raven, you came in your UNDER ROOS. You are wearing a BRA. Did you know that???NOT OKAY. Sheesh. Lingerie aside, I think I know what she was going for. I too was inspired by the fashion in Black Swan. She was going for that dark swan vibe but instead looks like a black, molting bird. NEXT YEAR, Raven, NEXT YEAR. 

It's just the kick off to award season, peeps. Get excited. 

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